By Dr. D. Jackson Maxwell
Lately, I have been getting an education in what it means to grow older. While the normal aches and pains are expected, aging entails so much more than I realized. For example, lately I have been reflecting on all the things we lose.
One thing I have noticed that my friends have lost over the years is hair. Growing up in Miami, my best friend had a full mane that blew in the wind as we cruised the beaches and streets in convertibles. Today he doesn’t have enough left to protect his brow from the sun. Nothing like watching a man slathering his sun baked head with aloe to put getting older in perspective. That said, I have become alarmed to realize that my ear, nose, and eyebrow hairs have enjoyed a healthy growth spurt. Thus my plan, if my hair fades, to use my ear hair as a combover!
Body parts are apparently another thing we tend to forfeit as we age. Teeth seem to go first. My grandmother lost hers in her twenties due to a wreck before seatbelts existed. Oddly, today, despite seatbelts and fluoride, we still lose teeth. For whatever reason, a lack of brushing, flossing, or meth, too many of our Gen X’ers are becoming toothless. And, let’s not even get started on missing wisdom teeth. Personally, I am still bummed at losing my first tooth due to a crack brought on by opening pistachios and bottles with it. I wish my parents would have warned me!
Internal body parts have become another problematic loss for those around me. I am surprised at how many useless parts our bodies have. Tonsils, adenoids, and appendixes are often gone before we are old enough to vote. My wife lost her gallbladder a few years ago and claims its loss has made her feel 20 years younger! Others I know have had a kidney removed, surrendered a lung, and even me, as a child, lost an eye. Apparently, I missed the news on not to play too close to a lawn mower.
Losing your children is especially tough, though. As our kids grow up and become teenagers, they spend increasingly larger parts of days in the bathroom or their rooms doing who knows what to make themselves more appealing to the opposite sex. Their phones — based on my phone bill — consume an inordinate amount of their time. They yearn to spend more time with friends rather than parents. Finally, they move on to college and careers. As parents, becoming empty nesters is truly a tough adjustment. Conversely, it is great to see how years of parental guidance and encouragement have prepared my kids to confidently ease into their newfound independence.
I am also learning that energy is lost as we get older. I guess that is why raising children is for younger folk. Later in life, if you are lucky, grandchildren come into the picture. They visit for a few hours or days, and then go back to whence they came after fun was had by all. This allows us elders to return to preferred routines like mid-morning and mid-afternoon naps that help us conserve energy in anticipation of our kids and grandkids next visit.
Finally, the mind is one of the last to fade as we get older. I have had family who suffered from dementia. While frustrating to all, one of the comforts I take is seeing the memories that remain the longest are often happy ones from childhood. If I too lose my mind, I hope that my last memories are the happy ones.
At this point in life, I am pleased to have lost most of the fears, timidity, and uncertainties of my youth. They’ve been replaced by a self-assuredness and confidence brought on by a lifetime of experience. Along the way I have found inner peace, a loving family, and friends who I treasure beyond compare. All help make any age related loss seem trivial in comparison to what I have gained!
Dr. D. Jackson Maxwell is an educator and freelance writer with over 30 years of experience at both. If you have questions or comments, please contact him at: djacksonmaxwell@gmail.com
